Dear Joe:
I know you’re delusional but I really did breakup with you because your thingy is so tiny. It’s not average like you keep telling yourself, that thing is disgusting.
You keep saying you can get a better attitude but ONCE AGAIN, I did not dump you because of your personality. Your personality is fine but your small gross penis is not. Please stop texting me because we’re never getting back together.
– Heidi